Apparently today is the day! (at least according to some guy who thinks he’s better at math and prophecy than Jesus) Anyhow, let’s say he’s right. I’m not sure what the proper protocol is for a rapture. It sounds kind of boring to go out all solemn and pious; so, I came up with 5 cool ways to leave the planet….just in case you need some ideas.
1. A well timed rock-star-esque leap off of your couch.
2. Sitting on top of your house waiving a tiny American flag.
3. Participating in a flash mob that is dancing to Michael Jackson’s Thriller.
4. Standing over a hot plate whilst wearing a hat full of fireworks.
5. Laying in a funny position on a memory foam mattress.
There you go. Happy rapture day! See you tomorrow…on Earth…disappointed.