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P90x – How I loathe you

So, my wife and I decided to give this P90x thing a try. We finished day 3 yesterday. I think I can safely file this decision in the “overly optimistic” category (like the time I said “yes” to dodge ball with middle schoolers…but that’s another story). Here’s my brief synopsis of the experience thus far:

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Parenting

Quick story: lawyer’ed by a 7 year old

The kids (all 6 of them) asked to sleep together last night. I told them that they couldn’t fit in the same bed.

I walked into my daughters’ room later as my oldest was teaching the kids, classroom style, why Daddy was wrong. She was using a diagram she’d drawn of the bed as a teaching aid.

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My Follow Back Policy – Twitter

Here’s the deal. For at least the next month, I’m going to follow everyone back who follows me on twitter…well, almost everyone. I won’t follow you back if: You or your avatar is following me in the nude. You are vulgar, offensive, degrading to others; and, your name is not Charlie Sheen. Why am I doing this? Realization based on conversations: apparently not following back sometimes hurts people’s feelings…kind of like back in 6th grade when you tried to sit at the “cool” kids’ table during lunch and got rejected because your slap bracelet and hypercolor t-shirt weren’t cool anymore…and you smelled funny because you insisted upon wearing your awesome Dallas Cowboys Starter jacket in 90 degree heat. (purely hypothetical) Anyhow, apologies to those of you who spent hours refreshing your Twitter page and sobbing due to a lack of a follow back from @joshwoodtx. Your days of mourning have come to an end. Oh, and if I somehow miss following you back, just tell me on Twitter. Something like “Hey @joshwoodtx, don’t be a liar.” will suffice.

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5 ways to get me to avoid your blog

Yesterday, I gave you “5 ways to get me to read your blog“. I’m sure that many of you were thinking, “This guy is kind of weird. I don’t actually want him reading my blog.” Good news! Today’s post is 5 ways to get me to avoid your blog. Actually, if you do the opposite of the things on yesterday’s post, you will have 10 ways to get me to avoid your blog.

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5 ways to get me to read your blog

Let’s say that you, like me, have a blog. Let’s say that you, like me, get warm fuzzies when people say things like “Hey, I read your blog. You’re probably the most brilliant writer that I’ve ever read.” Ok, so no one has ever said that. But, I digress. While I enjoy reading blogs, I actually read very few. If you want me to read your blog, here are 5 tips.

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Parenting

20 Parenting Proverbs

I have now officially been a parent for 7 years. Hard to believe. It has been simultaneously one of the greatest blessings and challenges of my life. 7 years of parenting makes me a rookie compared to many of you. Fortunately, I’ve pretty much already learned everything that there is to know about parenting.

Ok…if there were a sarcasm font, I would’ve used it for that previous sentence. I’m a parenting novice. I have, however, been keeping a list of observations from my brief stint in the parenting world. I decided to translate these observations–some of which I’ve learned from our mistakes and successes (mainly my mistakes), some of which I’ve learned from watching the successes and struggles of other families–into brief parenting proverbs (for lack of a better term). So, here you go.

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Parenting

So, we conquered Disney World

Our kids have been begging us to go to Disney World for awhile now. The place really must be magical because we have done nothing to plant this desire in their hearts. We don’t even get the Disney channel. My 5y/o has been counting her change once per month and asking questions like “Is 73 monies enough to go to Disney World?”

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