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My wife and I ended up with tickets to King Michael on Friday night (thanks to a birthday gift from my brother, who’s awesome like that).

It was, of course, legendary. Here are a couple of thoughts/highlights.

1.) We were some of the younger people in attendance. There are few things more special than watching seemingly normal, middle aged people screaming “WE LOVE YOU MICHAEL!” whilst fighting back tears and waiving a solo sequin-gloved hand in the air.

2.) One of the costumes of one of the impersonators was essentially biker jacket + skinny jeans, covered with a shiny golden man-size onesie. Possibly the best moment of the night: golden man onesie wardrobe malfunction. The thing ripped during an impressive spin move. The impersonator just squatted there, allowing the golden onesie flap to dangle in the breeze. He stopped the song and laughed. Awesome.

3.) After the first 5 minutes of the show, I had the thought, “The kids would love this. Perhaps we should have brought them.” They love watching dancing. Well, if you’re a fan of Michael Jackson, you know that his performances usually go from insanely awesome to painfully awkward in a matter of seconds. My thoughts went from, “The kids would love this.” to “AH! MY EYES! HIDE YO KIDS. HIDE YO WIFE.” Tip: never, ever take your kids to a Michael Jackson tribute. What has been seen cannot be unseen.

4.) Back to the audience-which was among the best parts of the show. Michael Jackson tribute + cash bar = the people-watching event of the year. Example: this was my view for most of the show. That is the sequin-gloved hand of a middle aged woman grasping a Bud Light. Next, she’s cheering for Michael. The last photo is of her succumbing to the urge to dance. She pretty much sums up the crowd. If I were to venture a guess as to what was running through the minds of most of the audience, it would be this: “Kids these days can have their Starbucks and Drake. Bring on the Bud Light and Billie Jean. God bless ‘Merica. And Michael Jackson. And ‘Merica again.”

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5.) The impersonators were great; but, there is no substitute for the original. Here’s the greatest musical performance of all time. Yeah, I said it.