More and more often I’m asked some variation of the following question: “How do I Twitter?” People want the formula for good Twittering. I never have a good answer because such a formula does not exist…until now. Kidding. Anyhow, I got tired of not having an answer; so, here you go: How to Twitter by @joshwoodtx. Am I an expert? No. But, as my wife would tell you, I spend way more time on Twitter than I should. A better description than “expert” might be “junkie.”

Getting started. So, you’ve set up an account and hopefully followed some people. Congratulations. Now what the heck do you do? Here’s a formula to follow until you get the hang of it.

Follow 5-10 new people per day. Unfollow after a week or so if you don’t like them. Tweet 5-10 times per day. What do you Tweet? Diversify your tweets as follows:

20%: Mundane details of your life. I know what you’re thinking. “That’s stupid. People don’t care what I’m having for lunch today or that I’m moderately addicted to Angry Birds.” Interestingly enough, people do kind of care. We wouldn’t be on Twitter if we didn’t enjoy a little light internet stalking. More importantly, posting a bit of this stuff keeps you from being lumped into the “he’s just using Twitter to try to sell me something” category.

20%: Links to short, helpful articles or blogs you’ve read. It’s always nice to provide a short description and mention the source. For example:

20%: Interaction with other Twitterers. Jump into conversations. Answer questions that the people you are following are asking by clicking the “reply” button. Don’t get your feelings hurt when people don’t reply. 9 out of 10 times the person you’re tweeting saw your tweet. They’re not ignoring you. They probably just can’t think of anything clever to say back to you. Keep interacting in a non-creepy way and you’ll start to see more followers. Also, don’t get your feelings hurt when celebrities don’t reply. Sometimes they actually do see your tweet. They just don’t care about you.

20%: Retweets of people you are following. Did you like something that someone tweeted? Click the retweet button. It’s the internet equivalent of a pat on the back. People like it when you retweet their stuff. Whether or not they acknowledge it, they always notice. It makes them happy.

10%: Promotion of others. Participate in #FollowFriday.

10%: Self or product promotion. Twitter is about building relationships. If you make a sale due to Twitter, it’s probably because your new client liked the other 90% of stuff you posted-not this promotional 10%. That said, don’t be afraid to let people know what you do…in moderation. Once your self-promotion approaches 50% of your tweets, you become like a telemarketer of the internet. Don’t be that guy.

There you have it. Oh, and throw in some pictures and video every-so-often as well. People like pictures. (If you’re wanting a number, try adding pictures to 10% of your tweets-Instagram is a fun way to do this). Stick to the formula and you’ll soon become a Twitter rock star*.

*probably not. but maybe.

“Why the variety of tweeting themes?”, you ask? Well, I’m Twitter judgmental. I have a hunch that others are as well. Here’s how I’ll view you on Twitter if your tweets consist of…

…100% Mundane details of your life: You have no friends; and, you got bored talking to your cats (or they got tired of listening).

…100% Links to short, helpful articles or blogs you’ve read: You don’t have a day job; or, if you do, your company should probably limit your internet access.

…100% Interaction with other Twitterers: 1 of 2 things. A.) You’re happy simply using Twitter to communicate with some close friends and would prefer it if outsiders left you alone. B.)  With every click of the “tweet” button, you’re thinking “WILL SOMEONE PLEASE BE MY FRIEND?!”

…100% Retweets. You have nothing original to say.

…100% Promotion of others. Who’s paying you; and, how much?

…100% Self or product promotion. You’re a salesman. But not a good one.

No, obviously there is not an exact formula to mastering Twitter. That’s what makes it great. These tips are merely meant as a starting point. Good luck. Happy Twitterin’.