For those of you desiring to throw your own Messy Party, here’s my wife’s recipe. Fair warning: messy parties are not for the faint of heart…nor do they help the resale value of your home.

Task One: Jello Toes. Contestants dig items out of jello using toes only. Winner’s prize: a cup of slime on his or her head.

Task Two: Summer Snowmen. 4 teams of 5-10 kids. One volunteer from each team gets to be the “snowman.” Team mates are to dress the snowman as beautifully as possible in 2 minutes. Available items: scarves, hats, carrots, and large quantities of sticky marshmallows.

Task Three: Obstacle Course. 1) Down the slide into a mud pit. 2) Through the sprinkler. 3) Across the slime-covered slippin’ slide. 4) Through the pool of wet noodles.

Task Four: Shaving Cream Fight. This turned into a shaving cream/noodle fight. Good times.

Snack: dirt & worms

Our supply list (for 30-40 kids):

20 pounds of noodles

15 pounds of pudding

35 cans of shaving cream

10 bags of marshmallows

a few bags of oreos

a lot of boxes of jello (can’t remember how many)

a lot of whipped cream (can’t remember how much of this either)

We bought most of the stuff in bulk at the salvage food store.

Yes, the party was a success. Our neighbors are probably going to wonder why the neighborhood smells like shaving cream. And why our concrete is stained red (fyi…it’s jello, not blood). And why spaghetti is on our roof. Oh well. You’re welcome, neighbors.

“Wait a sec, Josh…I seem to recall from a previous blog post that your wife is pregnant.”

You are correct. She ran the Warrior Dash. Dressed like Mario. 12 weeks pregnant. Like a boss. A pregnant boss. Henceforth, it should be referred to as the “Careese Dash.”

Here are the before and after photos. I should note that my plan was to dress up as Mario’s famed sidekick, Toad. Alas, there was no Toad costume to be found in Amarillo. Thus, Clark Kent.

Oh, we ran into another Mario and Luigi…which was awesome.

On our way home we stopped at Ted’s Escondido in Oklahoma City. Ted’s is awesome. Note the number of appetizer bowls on the table. Remember that there were only 3 of us eating. I’m pretty sure that’s how appetizer service will be in Heaven.

All-in-all, I highly recommend the Warrior Dash. It’s an all around good time. Well, except for the part where you have to run. Give it a shot. Also, I highly recommend Ted’s. Ted’s rules.

First off, feel free to share this post on Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, etc.

As you may have heard (or deduced from the giant ad on the right side of the page), I wrote a book last year. If you haven’t yet, you should read it. My mom says it’s great.

Here are a few options for you:

I’m giving away 10 hard copies over on Goodreads. Option 1: Feel free to enter the contest.

Option 2: if you download today or tomorrow, the e-version of your choice is free here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/171948 just use code “WR75Y”. (feel free to share this with anyone you like…but it will not be active after 5/10)

Option 3: Pay full price at any of the fine retailers on this page (thanks, in advance, for supporting my Dr. Pepper habit): http://www.joshwoodtx.com/godswillbook/.

Don’t worry, it’s really short.

If you would like a better picture of what the book is about (from sources not related to me), here are the reviews so far (in related news…THANK YOU to everyone who has reviewed the book! You have no idea what an encouragement it is to read these. Please keep ‘em coming.):

“About a week ago, I found myself floundering with what is God’s will for my life. That very same day, on the Goodreads giveaway page, I found this book, How to Find God’s Will listed for a giveaway. It felt like an answer to my prayer, especially after I won it! It arrived today and I read it as soon as I received it. It is a short book that packs a big punch! I loved this book. It felt like Mr. Wood knew what was on my mind and set to addressing each of my questions/concerns in his 3 step approach. He offered a very practical answer to my questions “how do I know what God’s will is for me?” – answer, Be Like Jesus. So obvious and yet so hard to figure out.

His writing style is down to earth and fun. I enjoyed his stories that were filled with self deprecating humor. The cover of the book alone was quite funny (you must read the reviews on the back cover!). I liked the author and I suspect in his church/community, he is someone others can go to for advice.

I definitely recommend reading this book if you have questions about how to move forward in your faith. It would be a great Bible study book as well, for any age.”

………………

“I stretched out the book for 2 whole days! I enjoyed the humor and the gentle kick in the pants – to know God’s will by doing God’s will. Laughs and reflections were interwoven on this quick journey through the well-written book. Thanks Mr Josh Wood. Not sure how you found time to write that with your job and 6 kids. Very impressive! Thanks for sharing your heart.”

………………

“My wife received this book for free for her honest review. I read it when she finished, so I will now give it MY honest review.

I had to set this book down several pages in. I was laughing so hard I was almost in tears. He writes about the things my teenage daughter makes fun of me for, so reading this book was like sitting and relating to a good friend, someone to justify how you feel and share in a common bond. But when the message grows more serious, that bond remains. 

Josh Wood writes with great humor as well as keen insight. The message is simple, yet so profound. I feel this would be a great book for new Christians as well more long term comfortable Christians. I really hope there will be more to come from Josh and the next time, we may even pay for his book.

Mr. Wood, you have truly found a way to help those on the highway. Please continue to find the confidence to His work. You truly have a gift.”

………………

“How to Find God’s Will: …in 3 simple steps by Josh Wood was a quick read. From which I came away with the feeling of spending time talking with a friend after reading it. It is is written in plain and simple language simple enough for anyone to understand. I enjoyed the humor he used to get the point across – “My Will vs. God’s Will” . I will read this one again! I would recommend it to anyone wanting to improve their life.

I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review, rather it be good or bad.”

………………

“I thoroughly enjoyed this little book from first page to last. It’s well written, funny and it made me appreciate the balancing act of my will vs. Gods will for my life.”

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“Yes, this is a quick read but is also quite important. The truth will humorously lift you up even though you may initially feel knocked down. This is not like reading a book, it’s more like listening to a friend talk to you in plain and simple language.”

………………

“this book is a fast and enjoyable read. it is very insightful and entertaining. motivates you to help those around you.”

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“I won this book in a giveaway here on GoodReads.

It is a very short book – about a 20-minute read.

I thought the book was well-written and informative. Well-done Josh! The main point I took away from it was that we should focus on living like imitators of Christ every day rather than focusing on the bigger questions like if God wants us to take job A or job B. When we are so focused on finding the answers to our “big” questions, we easily miss all the opportunities that God puts in front of us on a daily basis to act in God-pleasing ways. Reminds me of how we can do God’s will in the simple things in life like being a good friend, wife and neighbor.”

………………

“This book is easy to read and gets right to the point! It is very well written and is worth the read. I would reccomend it to anyone wanting to improve their life.”

………………

“I often struggle with knowing God’s will and this book was a quick read to remind me of and get me back on track to what is really important…living like Jesus. Don’t get so overly involved in yourself!

I definitely saw myself in the author and enjoyed his sense of humor.

I will recommend it to my pastor and church family.

For full disclosure, I did receive this book as a giveaway.”

………………

“Love the book. Short, but powerful and has a message we can all learn from! Thanks for sharing your heart! Hope I will remember to slow down!”

………………

“Josh is entertaining, insightful, and concise. It’s a quick, but worthwhile read.

As the book points out, too often we’re seeking “God’s will” for tomorrow while missing what He wants us to do today. His will is most often found we when follow day by day in the “little” things.”

………………

“I was particularly excited to win a review copy of this book. I love self-help books, and knowing God and understanding what his will is for me is difficult, so yay, what a perfect book!
First of all, the author uses plain English, real examples, and is down-to-earth. One of my favorite lines in this book is a reminder to “stop speeding down the highway of life.” This book is easy to follow, and the author is personable and shares his own struggles and journey. I appreciate his openness and the fact that he meets readers where they’re at. Also, the book references Bible verses, but again, it does so in a ‘plain English’ sort of way; it’s not like trying to read a Biblical textbook.”

………………

“The analogies the author uses are great. It really is a great read.”

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“Many times we make our walk with God more complicated than God designed it to be.
Josh’s book is such a refreshing, practical and straight forward approach to better understanding God’s will in our life’s circumstances. Life is really not designed by God to be hard to live within the parameters of a loving and forgiving Heavenly Father.
The writing style is very welcoming as anyone can relate to the author’s many examples of our typical approach to striving through daily situations. It’s good to just pull back and laugh at ourselves sometimes.
I strongly recommend you read this book and take to heart the practical one-two-three approach to understanding God’s Will in your daily life.”

………………

“Good read, quirky yet informative. Always nice to see that people go through the same things. Thanks Mr. Woods!”

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“This book is not only small enough to read more than once, but the content creates an inner dialogue that makes you want to read it again just to make sure you won’t forget the lessons.
This isn’t one of those self-help, self-glorifying, quick fix books. The “3 simple steps” are simple to understand, but will require intentional, out of your comfort zone actions that followers of Jesus are suppose to do anyways. Convicting, but the steps are ‘easy’ enough to implement into anybody’s lives. God’s Will doesn’t seem so far away after reading this book. Biblically based from the first to last page, with a side of innocent sarcasm! I couldn’t recommend it more.
Buy it now, and live it tomorrow!”

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“If you are having a hard time pinpointing God’s will in your life you MUST read this book. It will cost you very little and enrich you tremendously! Great Job Josh!”

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“Great little (33-page) book. Loved the sense of humor…felt like Josh is someone I’d like to know. I could totally identify, having presented my share of flannelboard lessons in Vacation Bible School myself. The nice thing about the book is that is it short and gets quickly to the point. No multiple chapters droning on and on, belaboring his points.
An example: “Far too often we Christians search for God’s will for our finances; but, we never make an effort to get out of debt. We pray regularly for God’s will for a spouse; but, we search in places where we’d be embarrassed to pray. We stressfully pray for God’s will in a job search; but we aren’t diligent or dependable in our current jobs. We pray for God’s will for friendships; but, we never make an effort to spend time with anyone new. We pray for God’s will for a work life/home life balance; but, we never say “no” to any work opportunity that arises. Churches pray for God’s will for a new location, but don’t effectively serve the current communities that they inhabit.”
Nothing groundbreaking there, but who can read it and not be convicted by at least one of these points?
Yes, Josh, I think you can now add “author” to your resume. And I don’t say that just because you’re a fellow Texan.

I received free copy of this eBook through the Library Thing Member Giveaway in exchange for my impartial review.”

………………

“for a first time author, I really enjoyed this book, plenty of humor I can really relate to (velvet Zacheaus). Josh had some great advice and very biblical, and with the humor thrown in, to make it a great all around book.”

………………

“How to Find God’s Will: …in 3 simple steps by Josh Wood was a quick read. From which I came away with the feeling of spending time talking with a friend after reading it. It is is written in plain and simple language simple enough for anyone to understand. I enjoyed the humor he used to get the point across – “My Will vs. God’s Will” . I will read this one again! I would recommend it to anyone wanting to improve their life.

I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review, rather it be good or bad.”

………………

“I picked up this book not because it came highly recommended to me, but because Josh Wood has been highly recommended to me. While I don’t know him personally, we share many friends in common as he now attends the church where I grew up. Through conversations with friends who still attend there, his name has occasionally come up as a great man with a great family who is doing his best to follow God’s will for his life. Based off those conversations, I’ve perused his blog a time or two, and when I saw that he had put out a short book on the topic of finding God’s will for your life, I was intrigued. When I noticed it was short and cheap, I was even more intrigued, as like most people I am strapped for cash and have a to-do and a to-read list which are constantly competing to out-grow each other. Then I got a new Kindle and some Amazon gift cards for Christmas, and I knew I needed to check out this little book.

The first thing I noticed about the book is that Josh is a great storyteller, which makes the book fun and enjoyable to read. I laughed a lot as I read through these pages, which was a welcome relief from most books in the field. For some reason it seems readers have to make a choice: do I want to read for self-improvement or for enjoyment? This book allows you do to both for a change.

The second thing is that Josh is a normal guy. He isn’t a guy who has locked himself in a room the past 15 years to memorize the Bible in the original language so now he can tell us all what every word of every phrase of every sentence means. He’s a guy that works a normal job and comes home to his (large) family, but still finds time to grow in his faith and seek God’s will for his life. As I read, I kept thinking, “Yep, been there, or “I do the exact same thing!” as Josh recounted episodes from his experience. And it is precisely this that makes him a guy worth listening to on the topic: he experiences this challenge on a daily basis, and this book is his way of taking what he has learned and trying to share it with others who it may help.

Finally, and the most important reason you should read this book, is that it is simply full of good advice. Josh may not be a pastor or a biblical scholar, but God has clearly given him insight and wisdom that others of us can benefit from. Josh correctly identifies a trap so many of us fall into as we are looking for God’s will in our life through the analogy of a road trip: we care more about the final destination than we do about living like Christ along the way. While we might say “Yeah, I know that,” the fact is more often than not the way we live our lives argue that we don’t, or at least that we aren’t paying attention. Josh’s little book is a helpful reminder of this truth that gives immensely practical tips for correcting this imbalance. Whether you think you are doing a decent job at understanding God’s will for your life or are hopelessly lost trying to do so, this book is worth the time. And for $2.99, it’s well worth the money too. Do yourself a favor and buy it and take an hour or two to read it. Then tell someone else who would benefit.”

There are thousands of versions of the song “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.” All of them contain some variation of the following verse: “Here I raise my Ebenezer. Here by thy great help I’ve come.” So, what in the heck is an Ebenezer? Why are we song-fully raising it? In case you don’t know (and since the song is probably going to be stuck in your head for the remainder of the day), allow me to help you avoid singing in ignorance.

Back in the Old Testament, the Israelites had a habit of setting up monuments. They did this for a number of reasons. Here are a couple:

1.) To remind them of important events. They didn’t want to forget the big things that God had done for them, so they set up giant monuments that served as permanent visual reminders.

2.) To teach their children about important events. It worked kind of like this: 8-year-old Habakuk Jr. would be walking around one day and see a giant man-made pile of rocks. “Dad, what’s that?” Habakuk Sr. then had an opportunity to tell the story of the particular event that the monument was commemorating. Specifically, he would pass along the story of how God worked through that event. It was an excellent way to pass stories down to future generations.

Of course, the Ebenezer stone is one of these monuments. I Samuel 7:12 “Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, ‘Thus far the Lord has helped us.’”

A friend of ours, Milton Jones, gave a sermon a few years back about this Ebenezer stone. In the sermon, he mentioned the idea of creating an “Ebenezer wall” in our houses that would serve the same purposes as the monuments of the Old Testament. Great idea, Milton Jones.

Recently, we began creating our Ebenezer wall. Our wall consists of black and white picture reminders of monumental things that God has done in our lives. On each picture, we’ve written a short explanation of the event. It has been a wonderful daily reminder-especially during tough times-of the great things that God has done in our world.

So, today I’m passing along Milt’s idea. Do yourself a favor. Create an “Ebenezer wall” in your house. It is a fantastic reminder, teaching tool, source of encouragement, and conversation starter.

Then came the crazy. In the span of 20 months, we added four kids to our family.

Seemingly overnight, our little family grew to a family of 8. All of a sudden, we had six kids ages 5, 3, 2, 1, 1, and infant (Yes, four kids in diapers. Yes, 6 kids in car seats.). We bought an embarrassingly large van. We had a couch deemed “laundry couch” that was perpetually hidden by a pile of laundry. We rarely sat down for anything–let alone dinner. I’m pretty sure we slept for a combined 2 hours in 2 years. Our house-not so clean. And seriously, WHERE DO MY KIDS KEEP PUTTING THEIR SHOES?

We lived in “survival mode” for a couple years. Mid-2007 through 2009 was a blur of total chaos. Like any family, we had highs and lows, but we loved it. We had a blast. We cherished it. We’d do it again in a heartbeat. You know the saying “God won’t give you more than you can handle?” Yeah, that’s big fat false. Sure, I’ll back up that statement scripturally. Thanks for asking. One of many examples: Gideon. God intentionally picked a group who couldn’t handle the task in order to leave no doubt as to who earned the victory. Story of our life.

Anyhow, eventually, we began to breath. Life was still crazy, but things seemed to calm down a bit. Then, God blessed us with an awesome teenager (that’s another story, a small bit of which can be found here). Our household increased to 9. We continued to have a blast in the midst of chaos (as seen here and here and here). Well, we’ll shed a few tears as she heads off to college–and to change the world–later this year. When she departs, the number of full-time residents in the Wood house will go down from 9 to 8………or so we thought.

Yep, Careese is pregnant.

If you hold your mouth open and say “WHAT?!” for a couple weeks then you’ll be where we’re at. Yes, we’re excited. Very surprised, but excited. We’re blessed to be surrounded by a lot of great people and are thrilled that many of you who are reading this will be walking through this adventure with us.

It’s a good thing that God created both of us to function well in the midst of insanity. Bring it on.

And now, allow me to address a few frequently asked questions:

Q: Are you crazy? A: Clearly.

Q: Was this planned? A: Clearly not.

Q: Are you Catholic or Mormon? A: Neither, but, I like the new Pope.

Q: How did your kids react? A: They were VERY excited–well, all of them except for child #5. To quote his reaction to the news: “Oh. Do we have any more pizza? Where is the pizza?” Actually, I think that he is excited, just more so about Papa John’s.

Q: Are you guys done now? A: Yes, we’re done. Again. Can anyone recommend a good urologist?

To my surprise, Netflix popped up as if I’d already logged in. I scrolled down a bit. “Top 10 recommendations for Bob” (His name is actually different, but it’s not a terribly common name. So, we’ll call him “Bob” to protect his identity.) “Well, that’s weird.” I thought to myself. Then, I solved the mystery. Someone named “Bob” had previously purchased (and subsequently returned) this blu-ray player. Apparently he had forgotten to delete his Netflix account info before he returned the player to Walmart. I started to reset the blu-ray player so that I could sync my Netflix account.

Wait a sec. I have been given power over Bob’s Netflix account. Some wise movie character once said: “With great power comes great responsibility.” Perhaps I should send a message to Bob somehow via Netflix. Challenge accepted.

I figured Bob might find it funny if his “recently watched” list was full of nothing but iCarly, Bieber, and Disney junk. Well, apparently Bob has kids because his “recently watched” list was already full of that type of stuff.

Plan B. I scrolled up to Bob’s Instant Queue. Bob, God bless him, has a few less-than-child-appropriate titles on his instant queue. Perhaps I should replace these with something more wholesome. Like Veggie Tales.

For the next 15 minutes or so, I replaced everything on Bob’s Instant queue with movies like “Veggie Tales: Where’s God When I’m Scared,” “The Passion of the Christ,” “Fireproof,” etc.

I’m not sure what Bob is going to think about all this. Perhaps he’ll think that God is trying to speak to him via his Netflix account. Sorry, Bob. It’s not the hand of God in your Netflix account. It’s a punk Walmart shopper. Enjoy your Veggie Tales. Again, sorry, Bob. Don’t worry, I’ve reset the player now. Your account has been deleted from my player. So, if your Instant Queue changes again, it’s probably God trying to send you a message.

The year was 2001. I found myself sitting in the middle of a little church in the middle of a little village in the middle of nowhere in Kenya, Africa. We were miles from electricity. The church was a small building made from sticks and mud. With the exception of a few people, everyone was standing because there was not enough room to sit. A decent-sized group of people stood outside, listening through the windows. About 45 minutes into the church service, my guide/interpreter gently elbowed me in the side.

“Hey Josh, you’re up.”

Me: “Uh…I’m up? For what?”

Him: “You’re preaching. Get up there.”

Me: “Uh. Ummmm. Ok.”

Apparently, when visiting a remote village in Africa, it is often customary for the guest to preach during the service. This would’ve been useful information to have had prior to the service. Oh well. Seeing no other option, I walked on up to the front.

I opened my Bible and begin reading. Frankly, I don’t even remember exactly what I read. I do remember that I initially avoided eye-contact with the congregation. Why? Well, I was nervous; but, there was another reason. You see, most of the women in the congregation were topless. Seriously. National Geographic topless. Looking up from my Bible to a room that was partially filled with smiling, topless women was a wee bit distracting. So, I planted my nose in my Bible and read. Before the interpreter had a chance to interpret anything that I said, I heard a loud voice shouting from the congregation: “BWANA ASIFIWE!” (that’s Swahili for “Praise the Lord!”)

Whoa. I looked behind me, thinking that perhaps Jesus had returned and I was missing it. Nope. No Jesus. Then, I looked out at the congregation. Every person in the room (both topless and clothed) was smiling at me with gigantic smiles. It dawned on me that these people–all of them–were so genuinely excited to hear a random guest speak that they couldn’t contain it. So, I kept reading. Then, I talked a bit. About every 30 seconds or so, I was interrupted with “BWANA ASIFIWE!” or “ASANTE YESU!” (Thank you, Jesus!). I got more animated. I raised and lowered my voice. I waved my arms when making a point. I came out of my shell. I made eye contact. It was awesome.

I don’t remember what all I said that day, but I remember this: the content of my sermon was bad. Not theologically bad, but “bore you to sleep” bad. I’m not just saying that to be modest. It was dull as bricks. Yet, it was the most fun I’ve ever had preaching a sermon. I was energized because the congregation was excited. Their excitement was contagious.

The moral of the story: we’ve all sat through bad speakers, preachers, or presenters. Sometimes, a speaker needs a bit of help getting out of his or her shell. Be a better audience member. Liven things up a bit. Clap. Make a positive comment. Say, “AMEN!” You might be surprised at how a few small comments can transform a boring speech into an energizing interaction for everyone.